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Joke of the Day

"What do Marge Simpson's vagina and Argentina have in common? They both got destroyed by Maggie."

"I've got a Turkish friend. She's not hot or cold. Shawarma."

"What did Jay Z say to Beyonce after having an ice cream shoved up his arse? I'm feeling a bit sorbet."

"I was on a first date ""How many women have you slept with?"" she asked. I said, ""Do you want me to round it to the nearest ten?"" ""Oh, I say! Go on then,"" she laughed. I said, ""Zero"""

"My cooking is so great.... ...that firefighters like to come and watch."

"What the difference between a feminist and a pencil? The pencil has a point"

"LAWYER: Your Honor, I'd like to approach the bench BENCH: I have a boyfriend"

"Hubs: If you could sleep with... Me: THOR!!! Hubs: ...the fan off tonight, that'd be great. Me: Ohhhh..."

"I teased Peyton Manning so he broke my phone. Now it'll never go past one ring...."

"Good news, The doctor says I'm health as a horse. Bad news, she keeps using large farm animals to describe me."