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Joke of the Day
"LAWYER: Your Honor, I'd like to approach the bench BENCH: I have a boyfriend"
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"ALCOHOL. Because no good story ever began with, ""So, I was sitting there eating this salad..."""
"Why wouldn't Kurt Cobain let you charge your phone at his house? ...the guy likes his power chords too much."
"My friend and I always fight over the electric drill It can get a little bit heated."
"Feminists hate words with masculine-sounding roots... ...maybe that's why none of them have any manners."
"How many rocks did Hank Schrader have in his collection by the end of Breaking Bad? None, they were all minerals."
"How do you take a Mexican family portrait? Put them in the back of a truck and run a red light."
"A man walks into a zoo... The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog.... It's a shitzu."
"It's funny how you can tell when someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when someone likes you."
"only thing keeping me from being stripper is about 60 pounds"