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Joke of the Day

"I now have an EpiPen My friend gave it to me when he was dying. It seemed really important that I have it, I will cherish forever."

"God is obviously a Civil Engineer... ... Only a civil engineer would route a sewage system through a playground."

"Why do cow wear bells? Why do cow wear bells .......???? Because their don't work :D :P"

"So Trump says he picked a bunch of great people to run the government... But honestly, I've seen better cabinets at IKEA."

"Are we Thor yet? Are we Thor yet? Are we Thor yet? Are we Thor yet? - How to annoy an Avenger when you're on a road trip."

"I burnt a lot of calories today... I set a fat kid on fire."

"Several people dancing around a pen... What is the movie name? Independence Day"

"Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she'll never notice. Call a girl fat once and she'll never forget it. That's because elephants never forget."

"What do you call a midget psychic that escapes from prison? A small medium at large"

"I saw a fat guy with a ""M.O.B."" tattoo on his arm. I asked ""money over b*tches?"" He said ""No, McDonalds over Burger King."