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Joke of the Day

"God is obviously a Civil Engineer... ... Only a civil engineer would route a sewage system through a playground."

"I got kicked out of the chorus line I was with. I just couldn't stay in sequins."

"What do you call a scent that wanders? An a-roam-a."

"A lot of people seem to fuss about adding and removing an hour from the day. I think it's just a minute difference."

"If you get ash on your clothing don't brush it off, blow ot off. Otherwise you'll just rub it in."

"I'm not saying your mom is fat but she'd be worth a lot more in the UK"

"What was the philosopher's last thought before he descended into quicksand? I sink therefore I am."

"I used to be a stoner in my home country... ...but then I started to respect women"

"A family walk into a hotel, the father walks up to the counter and says ""I hope the porn is disabled"" The clerk replies "" its just regular porn you sick fuck!"""

"My new girlfriend asked me how many girls I've slept with. ""Eleven,"" I replied. ""Wow! You must be a player,"" she laughed. ""No,"" I said, ""I'm their coach."""