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Joke of the Day

"God is obviously a Civil Engineer... ... Only a civil engineer would route a sewage system through a playground."

"I just ate so much Chinese food that now I'm able to use algorithms based on linear algebra to solve large numerical systems."

"*at a pizza buffet in the Midwest* Me: excuse me, can you please make a vegetarian pizza? Him: Sure! What kind of meat do you want on that?"

"Why do inquisitive peppers annoy people? Because they get jalapeno business."

"What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby? I don't ejaculate on an apple before I eat it."

"Whenever I see a celebrity photobomb, I'm like, that's so relatable. I too constantly ruin moments and think I'm more fun than I actually am"

"Why do teenage girls go to the bathroom in 3s and 5s? Because they literally can't even."

"This guy was so computer illiterate... When told to turn on a computer, he asked where he's supposed to rub it. :P"

"Just once in movies when someone gently shuts a dead person's eyes I want them to whisper ""Ew, ew, ew, ew."" while doing it."

"HI, I'M STEVE'S CAPS LOCK KEY, AND I'D LIKE TO MEET OTHER CAPS LOCKS KEYS. I'M INTERESTED IN BOATING AND HIKING."