147831

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a james bond film about a calculator? Casio royale"

"This election feels like Tim Burton was writing and directing it and halfway through Quentin Tarantino took over."

"*CAN'T OPEN THE PICKLE JAR* SHERLOCK: (suspiciously) Moriarty..."

"Why do people leave letters at the football ground ? They want to catch the last goal-post !"

"Why don't skeletons play music in church? Because they got no organs."

"Which is worse, insouciance or ignorance? I don't know and I don't care."

"A gay deer walks out of a bar And says, ""man, I can't believe I just blew 50 bucks!!"""

"I think it's a shame that young people today no longer even know why we celebrate Halloween. None of us would be here today if Jesus hadn't slain that fucking giant pumpkin."

"Beethoven asks his audience: ""Is everyone ready to hear some symphonies!?"" The audience cheers as Beethoven exclaims: ""I can't hear you!"""

"Women's deodorant: Spring Breeze, Lilac, Gentle Sunshine. Men's deodorant: Sport, Mountain, Forest Fire, Rage, Fistfight, Childhood Angst."