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Joke of the Day

"Women's deodorant: Spring Breeze, Lilac, Gentle Sunshine. Men's deodorant: Sport, Mountain, Forest Fire, Rage, Fistfight, Childhood Angst."

"Here's a tip for when you're feeling shit. Wear gloves"

"why are bouquets only for flowers? why not a bouquet of hot dogs. or a bouquet of hot dogs with ketchup. or a bouquet of hot dogs with musta"

"Texans can't comprehend vegans. We just think their barbeque grills are broken."

"Where do country music artists become country music greats? The obituaries"

"They say that American beer is like having sex on a canoe. It's fucking close to water."

"Damn girl, can I get all up in that? I'm sorry, where are my manners. MAY I get all up in that?"

"Where does a suicide bomber go when he dies? Everywhere"

"When I jerk off I like to sit on my other hand until it gets numb, then change to that hand right at the last minute . . . I call it ""the old 'bate and switch""!"

"I heard of a new sex position that I want to try. It's called 'with a partner'."