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Joke of the Day

"Beethoven asks his audience: ""Is everyone ready to hear some symphonies!?"" The audience cheers as Beethoven exclaims: ""I can't hear you!"""

"Man: What can I do you for? Woman: a bottle of wine and cab fare"

"What's little, brown, and found in the woods? Winnies' pooh."

"If you feed your kitten Muscle Milk it will become a tiger in as little as 90 days or you get your money back."

"My son is starting school soon and thinks the other children will pick on him because of his name. I said, ""Don't be silly, Someoneyourownsize, why would anyone pick on you?"""

"I broke up with my girlfriend over religious beliefs She didn't believe I was god. (Credit: Artie Lange)"

"Bra's are also called over the shoulder boulder holder's. What do you call men's underwear? Under the butt nut hut."

"Man walks into a tavern. Man walks into a tavern and passed the bar. Bartender turns to him and says, ""You can't be back here."" Man says, ""It's OK. I'm a lawyer now."""

"When I hear teenagers talk I wonder why there's not a high school class dedicated to learning the definition of the word ""literally"""

"Me: it's robocop Wife: it's not robocop it's dangerous *a roomba with a gun taped to it is shooting at our cat*"