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Joke of the Day

"""Eighty-seven percent of people think lasers are friggin' awesome."" - Pew Pew Pew Research Center"

"Numerators can recover the fastest from break-ups. They're always over it."

"What does ABC stand for? American dyslexia association."

"When I was 8, my best friend & I had a big fight. The next week his family moved away. Dave, if you're reading this, I still hate your guts."

"How do mexicans cut their pizza? With Little Cesars"

"I have the Quran on CD... People sure are getting upset when I said I burned it."

"Why doesn't Hitler run a marathon? Because he can't finish a race."

"Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't."

"What's the fastest way to lose a few pounds? Exit the European Union."

"i wanna get a huge pile of rocks for my driveway so i can park my car like a range rover dealership"