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Joke of the Day

"I have the Quran on CD... People sure are getting upset when I said I burned it."

"Marriage Counseling Therapist: So you're considering ending the marriage? Wife: I am sick of all the Star Wars puns. Husband: Divorce is strong with this one."

"The Wind is a Force So when I pass gas i must be using the Force."

"4 AM BLADDER: Get up. You need to go STOMACH: And you're hungry BRAIN: Imagine if Hammer Time was a real time zone. We'd have to move there"

"How does an apple a day keep the doctor away? When you take careful aim."

"Tifu by farting in my girlfriend's face It was a shitty thing to do."

"Last Christmas I bought my mother-in-law a Jack Daniels t-shirt having previously told me she enjoyed encounters with spirits. She looked angry and said ""I'm a medium"" Bullshit!! XXL fit her perfect!"

"What's the difference a teckel and the United Nations? There's none. They both have big hearts but a short reach."

"I'm such a crastinator... I'm way too busy redditing to go Pro!"

"Awkward If you think buying condoms is awkward, you should try returning them."