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Joke of the Day
"Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't."
Next Joke
"[Spain, 1578] ""I'm not a witch!"" But all the cats? ""My pets!"" The broom? ""For cleaning!"" The cauldron of boiling children? ""Ok I'm a witch."""
"Bird Seeds 1. Go to the pet store 2. Buy Bird seeds 3. Ask the cashier how long it will take for the birds to grow 4. ??? 5. Profit"
"I play Nickelback real loud all day so crickets can listen to something annoying when they try to sleep"
"What is the square root of 69? -*ate* somethin'."
"I wish I had half the determination and persistence of Adobe reader updater."
"Sorry your password must contain the entire alphabets, your left foot, a theme song to a television show and the blood of your enemies"
"Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you."
"""Chill out."" - Spanish receptionist saying Jill isn't in."
"My gran keeps banging on about the dangers of the modern world, apparently when she was young she never had to secure her back entrance. What a slag."