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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Hitler run a marathon? Because he can't finish a race."

"How'd you get a fat girl into bed? Piece of cake.."

"When I was five, my Dad put Snowballs in the blender to make a slushie... I miss snowballs, she was a good cat."

"Why is a room of 50 doctors safer than a room with 1000 doctors? You can't survive in 1000 degrees. *credit to my friend Neriah."

"Confucius Say: Joke is like sex. Not good if you don't get it"

"What did the Native American do after culinary school? He became a Souix chef."

"The eyes are the window to the soul which is why I'm throwing pebbles at your face."

"Whoever said imitation is the sincerest form of flattery hasn't had a 7yo mimicking their every word for the last 10 minutes."

"I had professional respect for you but then you said ""recognizance"" when you meant 'reconnaissance.'"

"[after i confess to murder] COP: sarge? you gotta see this [shows interrogation video and sees my fingers crossed the whole time]"