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Joke of the Day

"i wanna get a huge pile of rocks for my driveway so i can park my car like a range rover dealership"

"What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl? A cock that stays up all night."

"Shit. Gotta huge job interview tomorrow and I have no clue where I put my prom dress"

"My gf told me that I punched her in the face while I was sleeping last night. I apologized because I totally remember being awake for that."

"Waved to my ex today, next time I might use all my fingers"

"If eating fish is so good for your brain, how come sharks always score so poorly on the SAT?"

"What usually comes in handy? A virgin."

"I went to school with a girl who said her last name was Faux. I thought to myself, ""Man, that's got to be fake."""

"She : I Love Kids He : I Love The Process"

"You know how Brussels sprouts and anal sex are kinda the same?? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you probably won't like it as an adult"