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Joke of the Day

"Went to this zoo in Venezuela and the only animal they had was one dog It was a shih tzu"

"I got a vasectomy at Sears! Was really inexpensive, but now whenever I get an erection, my garage door opens."

"migraine |my-grain| noun 1 a recurrent severe headache 2 what a farmer shouts in disbelief after a terrible storm destroys his wheat field"

"I think I might have a shower. *checks* Yes, I have a shower."

"It's me and Pamela Handerson again this Valentine's Day... "

"I heard they made a movie about the Connect Four game. I think it was called the human centipede."

"Mr. Belichick how do you feel about these accusations against your organization? Deflated."

"Jared Fogel better not drop the soap in jail. He might not enjoy those footlongs as much."

"How did the jews fight off Nazis? Jew jitsu"

"I don't watch World Cup soccer. If I wanted to see grown men struggle to score for 90 minutes I'd go to a bar."