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Joke of the Day

"I got a vasectomy at Sears! Was really inexpensive, but now whenever I get an erection, my garage door opens."

"Whats the difference between a feminist and a hockey player hockey player showers after 3 periods"

"Saw my neighbor walking down the street with a case of beer, I said ""That for me?"". He said ""I got this for my wife"", I said ""Great trade!"""

"Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn't jump at all"

"""I got this."" Translated: I most certainly do not have this, but prepare to be thoroughly entertained."

"What do you call the 72 virgins that Allah gave isis? Goats"

"I have Alzheimer's disease. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's disease!"

"Chuck Norris won the Origami Championship in 1983...folding a rock"

"As a child Moses auditioned for his school play but he didn't get the part. Ironic."

"Two women in a shared cell were in the prison for 15yrs. When they were freed... ...they spent another 2hrs talking outside."