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Joke of the Day

"migraine |my-grain| noun 1 a recurrent severe headache 2 what a farmer shouts in disbelief after a terrible storm destroys his wheat field"

"What did Hitler's Personal Trainer keep reminding him to do? ""EXHEIL"""

"If goldfish crackers actually tasted like goldfish-- wait, I just realized I've never tasted a goldfish. What if the crackers are accurate?"

"Why are spectators so happy with their jobs? Because beauty is in the eye of the beholder"

"SUPERHERO: I alienate my loved ones to protect them from danger ME: Me too, that's also my reason"

"Everyone always pets my pregnant wife's stomach and says 'congratulations' but no one ever rubs my balls and says 'good job'."

"I've been waiting 2 hours for an employee to come and wash my hands like the sign says...."

"You know what really gets on my nerves? myelin"

"FB friend's boy in a baseball uniform pic: ""Our little pitcher"" Me: ""He looks more like a catcher"" Nobody got it. So I'm back here.."

"I'm so glad I married a big strong program like WinRAR He can open all of my .jars!"