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Joke of the Day

"I don't watch World Cup soccer. If I wanted to see grown men struggle to score for 90 minutes I'd go to a bar."

"Why is the fungus such a hypocrite? because it doesn't have mushroom to talk."

"I just want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa... Not like the passengers in his car who were screaming quite loudly."

"What's the difference between a petri dish and white people? A petri dish develops a culture."

"Flash floods in Arizona last night. We nominate California and Texas. #ALSIceBucketChallenge"

"What's the difference between Donald Trump and a used car sales person? The used car sales person knows they are lying."

"So a pirate wants to get his ears pierced... He goes to the mall where he finds an ear piercing kiosk and asks the girl how much it would cost. The girl turns and says, ""Oh hi! It's a buccaneer!"""

"What is brown and gray has eight legs and is carrying a large trunk and a small trunk? A Chihuahua on vacation with an elephant."

"Q. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome a good lover and a stimulating partner? A. In the pages of a romance novel."

"Do you need help transporting a lot of animals overseas? Because I Noah guy"