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Joke of the Day

"I'm good at multitasking and procrastinating, which means right now there are at least 28 things that I'm putting off until later."

"Can't help but think if I hadn't eaten that baby corn in 2001 it would now be teenage corn."

"A long, romantic kiss... and then - She: I think I swallowed your gum. He: No, I just cleared my throat."

"I caught my wife in bed with a banana last night... She was masticating."

"What did the divers find the sunken Korean ferry had hit? Malaysia Airlines Flight 370"

"Did you hear about the man who was found dead shortly after insulting one Mr. T Crews? He died of dissin' Terry."

"What did Tarzan say when he saw a heard of elephants? Oh look! A heard of elephants."

"Dyslexics are teople poo!"

"My brother thought it'd be hilarious to replace all my Adderall with Viagra... which explains how I've been studying so hard."

"If Christians want to stop gay sex... they should encourage gay marriage."