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Joke of the Day

"I caught my wife in bed with a banana last night... She was masticating."

"Did ya hear about the Mexican who kept washing his dog? They were spic and spaniel"

"Cheese makes everything better... *sprinkles parmesan on broken leg*"

"""My phone's about to die."" -Me, 30 seconds into every phone call."

"How do we know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia? If it had been invented anywhere else it'd be called a teethbrush."

"Asked God his thoughts on assuming genders, his reply... ""Hmmm, I guess I should have made it more obvious"""

"Why did the Ogre cry when he left the doctor's office? He was diagnosed with shrecktal cancer."

"Why didn't the leopard go on vacation? It couldn't find the right spot."

"INTERVIEWER:How good are your public speaking skills? ME:*from behind a tall plant in the office, I throw a piece of paper saying 'Decent'*"

"I was gonna tell a gay joke... butt fuck it."