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Joke of the Day
"Sometimes, the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is an idiot."
Next Joke
"A Man With No Legs Walks Into A Bar..."
"I pulled the shell off of my snail to make him faster Turned out it had the opposite effect, now he's a little sluggish."
"Jared Fogle of Subway told his wife she didn't have to worry about the Ashley Madison leaks... ...he was on Club Penguin."
"What hand do you use to wipe your butt? Right or left? For those that answered right or left, you guys are gross I use toilet paper."
"What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? It was an udder disaster. ^(I'll show myself out)"
"So it turns out that fat bearded man whose lap I was sitting on at the mall wasn't Santa. LOL drugs."
"How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? When she can fit into your wife's clothes"
"Congratulations, everyone who saw me and my kids at the mall today. That's the cheapest birth control you will ever have."
"""Wow, that's great!"" ~ Me, not paying attention, and hoping you didn't just tell me your Grandma died."