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Joke of the Day

"So it turns out that fat bearded man whose lap I was sitting on at the mall wasn't Santa. LOL drugs."

"I love dying from sneezing 11 times in a row and being defibrillated back to life with a 12th"

"For some reason I keep making bread puns Dough I knead to stop"

"Occam's Disposable Razor When given multiple equally valid choices, choose the one that costs the least money."

"If I opened a strip club I would have the girls wear BBQ scented perfumes. So when guys came home they could say they were at a Steak House."

"It's not a bad movie, but it is hard to believe a character named Captain America wouldn't be morbidly obese."

"A Short Joke Dwarves and midgets have very little in common."

"With Jupiter ascending flopping the wachowskis are planning to quit the movie biz and going into the fast growing Mexican food business They are planning on naming their company as the Nachoskis"

"Why should you never eat Sonic the Hedgehog? He gives your underwear blue streaks."

"Seriously, why put the suicide hotline on the backs of buses? Put it on the fronts."