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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a very forgiving lawyer? S'aul Good man."
Next Joke
"""I found some shit in your room...No, I found actual shit. Feces...Well I should hope it's from your shoes, otherwise what the fuck?"""
"To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer."
"My mind says ""no"" but my heart says ""yes"", all my vital organs speak English, it's very confusing and loud"
"How do you deal with radical Islamists? You square them."
"Joey: WHOA Blossom: So you like that? Joey: WHOA Blossom: Are you saying stop? Joey: WHOA Blossom: OK This is the worst safeword ever"
"For my summer job, I worked at the zoo, circumsizing elephants The pay wasn't great, but the tips were enormous!"
"[Being murdered while eating a salad] Please sir will you stab the spinach out of my teeth don't let them find me like this"
"A recent study found out that 9 out of every 11 jobs are done inside"
"Me: I'm ghosting him. Her: You stopped talking to him? Me: No, I'm showing up when he least expects it and scaring the shit out of him."