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Joke of the Day

"My mind says ""no"" but my heart says ""yes"", all my vital organs speak English, it's very confusing and loud"

"I just unlocked the ""My House Was Robbed Because I Checked in on Foursquare"" badge on Foursquare!"

"The only reason to have a second kid is if your first one doesn't get a lot of likes on Facebook."

"Why do dogs bury bones in the ground ? Because you can't bury them in trees !"

"Cinco De Mayo Cinco De Ketchup Cinco De Mustard Cinco De Siracha Cinco De Ranch Dressing"

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger... unless you have muscular dystrophy, in which case you most certainly will not."

"Coke is like porn you keep coming back for more! :)"

"What's white and flies through the air? The second cumming."

"Guy: Police, yeah there's this black kid harassing a homeless person. Police: You had me at black"

"What did the rude prism say to the light beam that smacked into him? Get bent!"