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Joke of the Day

"A recent study found out that 9 out of every 11 jobs are done inside"

"I looked into a blonde's eyes but all I saw was the back of her head!"

"I am listening carefully, but let's be honest, your menu options haven't changed."

"I watched a horror movie about pogo sticks. Too many jump scares."

"I had an uncle who worked at a whiskey factory. He fell into a vat and drowned 6 hours later. He would have drowned earlier but he got out 3 times to pee."

"Why shouldn't you talk to someone with a brain tumor?.... ..because they've got a lot on their mind."

"Way to bring me down, security questions. Dad's birthday? First pet? What's next? Gonna ask about Marco Black rejecting me in 2nd grade?"

"Whats your favorite pickup line? Mine is: I'll give you candy if you get in the van"

"Everyone knows that your eyebrows are drawn on, we just wish you'd make them lightning bolts once in a while."

"There's three types of people in this world... ...those who are good at math, and those who aren't."