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Joke of the Day

"Me: I'm ghosting him. Her: You stopped talking to him? Me: No, I'm showing up when he least expects it and scaring the shit out of him."

"What did the tuba say to the clarinet? Nothing, instruments don't talk."

"What do you call an angry pirate? A Pirate (A mix between Pirate and Irate)"

"This joke is at least 10x dirtier than I thought. . . Volkswagen"

"A random guy held the door & paid for my Cinnabon roll at the truck stop today He doesn't know it, but this is the best date in a long time"

"*goes to the gym* *takes a selfie & posts it on Facebook for the wife to see* *hurries to the bar*"

"The best things in life aren't things."

"Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afganistan? Because there's a target on every corner."

"What do you calla person that inherits a lot of money? A millionheir."

"I live in a pretty rough area. The priest at our church had to leave because of a child abuse scandal. He was raped by three kids."