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Joke of the Day

"I hate when my congressman emails me to ""take action"" on an issue. Dude, you're the one in congress, you do something."

"[in Paris] Will you have sex with me? ""No monsieur."" Okay, like, I don't speak French. BLINK ONCE FOR NO AND TWICE FOR YES."

"I think God created marriage so death wouldn't come as such a disappointment."

"Damn girl are you the meta? 'Cause I really didn't need this cumback."

"I hope farmers are as disappointed as I am by the kinds of people at the farmer's market."

"Once we had Clinton, Johnny Cash and Bob Hope. Now we have Bush, no Cash and no Hope. "

"It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living."

"Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children should be seen and not herded!"

"A Jewish man had a son, who converted to Christianity. The man prayed to God, ""Oh Lord, my son has converted to Christianity! What should I do?"" And God replied, ""Yours too?"""

"Did you hear about the guitarist that got arrested? He was fingering A minor."