186915

Joke of the Day

"It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living."

"If you want to piss off a narcissist, just tell 'em that subtweet wasn't about them."

"What's the difference between a midget and a dwarf? Little."

"My doctor said I should eat better. I told him, with what he charges, I'm lucky I eat at all"

"What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no not snake and pygmy pie again!"

"What do you say to a lady that has to make 100 shirts by tomorrow? you seamstressed"

"I'm gonna drink until she's pretty then fuck her until she's ugly again."

"So I've been clearing out my attic... ... and I've decided to get rid of my hoover- it was just gathering dust."

"Why couldn't Tommy ride a bicycle? Because he was a gold fish."

"Why do black guys have red eyes after sex? Pepper Spray."