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Joke of the Day

"How many Freuds does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb and another to hold the penis. ... ... ... Er... I mean... The ladder."

"You think you have problems, I used a toothpick to get a toothpick out of my teeth this morning."

"I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people... But it needs more work"

"Im sat here looking at my glass half empty..... Everyone is telling me that I should look at my glass half full, but i just want to know, WHO THE FUCK DRANK MY DRINK"

"Do you know why turds are tapered? So your butt hole doesn't slam shut."

"How many kids do you think Wolverine has? Because a vasectomy would heal in seconds and he doesn't look like he'd wear a rubber or pull out."

"I've never fucked a poofter, but I've fucked a bloke who has."

"Taking a nap is like sex..... It's never as good as you had hoped for but better than nothing."

"What's the hardest thing about finding a dead baby on the beach? Hiding the erection."

"What do you call a laxative candy on a stick, being eaten by Shirley Temple? The good shit lollipop."