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Joke of the Day

"Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children should be seen and not herded!"

"How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from..."

"How do we know that hamburgers love classic music? They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall!"

"Banks suck ass. First they get bailed out with $700B of our money, then they're like ""You can't use Wingdings for the font on your checks."""

"Personally, I think Lance Armstrong should keep his trophies and awards. Last time I rode a bike on drugs I ended up in my neighbors bushes"

"What does CPA stand for? Can't Produce Anything"

"After months of practice, I can finally touch my toes. (By telling them that they are beautiful.)"

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip..."

"They say us men all think with our dicks... but all I want is a woman who will blow my mind."

"I sexually identify as an attack helicopter. Because I explode on impact."