183586

Joke of the Day

"I hope farmers are as disappointed as I am by the kinds of people at the farmer's market."

"I dunno but if I was a ""doctor to the stars"" I sure wouldn't be bragging about it these days"

"My arm is asleep. Let's draw mustaches on it."

"Did you hear about the dead lawyer who was too big to fit in a coffin? They gave him an enema and buried him in a shoebox."

"Why does Bernie always hold the podium while giving a speech? It's tough to stand on your own when you have no spine."

"What idiot called it the road to Bethlehem instead of the highway to the manger zone?"

"Someone just threw sodium chloride at me. It was a salt."

"People call me Mr Compromise. Wasn't my first choice for a nickname, but I can live with it."

"My girlfriend didn't believe me when I said I could build a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen her face when I drove pasta!"

"I'm gonna name my firstborn ""arial"" and people will be like ""oh like the mermaid"" and i'll say ""no like the font"""