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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry I dropped your baby and doubly sorry I nudged it under the crib with my foot so you wouldn't notice."

"When life hands you melons, make sure you squeeze them fast before you get slapped."

"A squirrel and an elephant are in the bathroom. The elephant in the tub says to the squirrel, we have no soap. The squirrel says... ""OH YEAH? NO SOAP RADIO!"""

"Say what you will about ISIS... But you can't deny their suicide business is booming."

"A blind man walks into a fish store ... and says: ""Whats up girls""."

"How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb? Who says it's dark?"

"What's the hardest part about eating a brownie? Having to face her parents at the sentencing."

"I've seen this joke here before, so I changed it and I think it's better. A Jewish boy asks his dad for $50... And his dad gives it to him!!! Ha ha!"

"Psychic buys clothing Employee: How about this one? Psychic: That shirt is too small Employee: You didn't even try it on Psychic: I'm a medium"

"Why does BuzzFeed skip every other number when counting? They literally can't even."