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Joke of the Day

"When life hands you melons, make sure you squeeze them fast before you get slapped."

"HEALTH TIP: If you find a pill on the floor of a public restroom, Google it before taking it."

"mad gf How do you know when your girlfriend is mad at you? She leaves the string in the Bloody Mary"

"When I was in prison my bunk mates called me ""mitochondria"" because I'm the power house of the cell"

"I've said it before and I'll say it again: the Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range."

"After filling up my gas tank this morning before work, I realized that I didn't want to eat for the"

"I never realized how short a month is until I started paying rent"

"Don't die a virgin. Seriously, there are terrorists up there waiting for you."

"A kiss can make your day Anal can make your hole weak"

"Why are school shooters more likely to be white people? White people actually go to school. Black people stay home and shoot people in their own neighborhood."