36570

Joke of the Day

"i was dating a hot air balloonist at least she let me down gently"

"Siri does the best Stephen Hawking impression."

"What did Stevie Wonder think when he got a cheese grater for christmas? That it was the most violent book he'd ever read."

"Do you have a favorite boat joke? No? Well you will schooner or later."

"I asked my wife what she wanted for christmas she told me ""nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace"" so I bought her nothing"

"I asked Santa for a new energy policy... ...but all I got in my stocking was a lump of coal. :-("

"Honey, I'm afraid we can't get married anymore. weed_hitler69 just told me I was gay. *looks at Xbox* Thank you sir. You've changed my life."

"Why do jews have a big nose? Because air comes free of charge."

"Today I learned the Nazis were instrumental in the creation of Tang and other powdered fruit drinks But it didn't get far since Hitler hated the juice."

"Why did the snowman have a smile on his face? Because the snowblower was coming down the block."