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Joke of the Day
"How many optimists does it take to change a light bulb? Who says it's dark?"
Next Joke
"What breed of dog is the most depressing...? A melancholy."
"if a child of mine is ever incredibly muscular at birth i would consider naming it XERXES in all caps like that"
"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.... But I don't know Y"
"After a long time of procrastination I read that book about the 4th dimension. It's about time..."
"*ding* This is your captain speaking. We... Is this what my voice sounds like? Nobody told me! Haha, wow, weird. We're out of fuel."
"Whenever I meet a pretty girl, the first thing I look for is intelligence... ...because if she doesn't have that, then she's mine."
"Why didn't Barbie get pregnant? Because Ken came in a different box."
"If I had a dollar for every time a homeless person asked me for money... I'd still say no."
"Hooking a clock on your belt It would just be a waist of time."