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Joke of the Day

"What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night? He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea."

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"Bought a new boomerang Can't throw away my old one"
"Riot's Responce to Sandbox Mode Edit: Response"
"What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving."
"Chinese girl I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""
"psychic: ""I see... I see kids in your future"" me: ""but I've had a vasectomy"" [9 months later ... me tending a goat farm] ""This's bullshit"""
"The softest type of toilet paper is cats."
"""Can I replace the fries with a salad?"" = ""Do you mind if I spit on the American flag?"""
"Just hired a cat sitter to sit on my cat."
"I always forget the name Lance is short for ""Ambulance"""