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Joke of the Day

"psychic: ""I see... I see kids in your future"" me: ""but I've had a vasectomy"" [9 months later ... me tending a goat farm] ""This's bullshit"""

"Let's take all the bad science jokes... And barium."

"What's the difference between Reddit and 4chan? One is a group of immature internet trolls....and the other thinks it isn't."

"I wish I were as attractive to women as I am to mosquitoes."

"What does the narcissistic cow say? Moooo! Cuz it's a cow"

"Quasimodo is running down the street with a bunch of kids chasing him. ""Fuck off, i haven't got your ball!"""

"There's only one problem with your face, I can see it."

"LPT: If you ever get cold and don't have a sweater, stand in a corner for a few minutes; they're usually about 90 degrees. ( )"

"What do you call a short Mexican? A paragraph, because he's not big enough to be an ese."

"Mommy, they call me nymphomaniac at school... -Don't worry Lissa, it's just kid's stuff. Now you go to sleep before dark, or the Boogeyman will come at eat you. -Yeah! He should come and eat my pussy!"