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Joke of the Day

"I always forget the name Lance is short for ""Ambulance"""

"Why did the restaurant on the moon fail? They barely had any atmosphere."

"People mistook me for a racist Some people at the park had assumed I was a racist because they thought I had said ""sand nigger"" Really what I said was; ""Get out of the sand, nigger."""

"Why should you never have oral sex? It really sucks."

"I can't tell if I'm an alcoholic or a necrophiliac... ... I just love to crack open a cold one every once in a while."

"No officer I didn't mean to run him over. Yes I saw him but I thought he was my ex, and clearly he is not my ex."

"You can try to annoy me with bird puns but toucan play that game."

"""Do you know how awkward you are?"" ""Good, you?"""

"Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one."

"Congratulations to Snooki who gave birth today to a baby boy... 5 NJ High School rings, 2 condoms, and 12 press on nails."