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Joke of the Day

"You'd think that when two atoms in a salt bond, they're being kind by sharing electrons, but actually, one atom is stealing the electron from the other. Isn't it ionic?"

"Why are there no jehovah's witnesses in Italy? The mafia doesn't like witnesses."

"What do you call a bee with a toe? ""Toby"""

"On your first day in jail, when they ask you what you're in there for, say ""the food"" so all the other prisoners know you're a loose cannon."

"Holiday Tip: if you boil a turd on low heat the whole house smells like farts."

"Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think we give a shit."

"How many knees could a negro grow if a negro could grow knees?"

"Why did the witch wear a green felt pointed hat? So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen."

"Pro tip: never tell a three-year-old that you're going to Disney unless you plan on leaving that very second."

"There once was a chef who made gravy that was so good people couldn't stand up after tasting it... ...they fell for his roux."