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Joke of the Day

"Pro tip: never tell a three-year-old that you're going to Disney unless you plan on leaving that very second."

Next Joke
 
"*At The Opera* Her: Where are you going? Me: I have to go to the Men's Room. Her: I have the car keys. Me: Shit!"
"Me: your shoes are on the wrong feet 4yo: Me: ....... 4yo:......... Me : 4yo : but I don't have any other feet Me : fair enough --__--"
"An Irishman, a homosexual, and a Jew are sitting at a bar What a fine example of an integrated community."
"I recently came into a very large sum of money so they fired me from my job at the bank."
"i know you kids love uber and airbnb, so today i want to tell you all about the real 'sharing economy.' that's right. communism"
"Why couldn't the hunter cook breakfast? The game warden found out he poached his eggs!"
"Nudist's have the right idea.. Screw laundry!"
"WARNING: If you see posts offering free clips of Justin Bieber's new album, DO NOT CLICK. They link to free clips of Bieber's new album."
"So I ordered some General Pao chicken They gave me a bowl of false promises."
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