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Joke of the Day

"Why did the witch wear a green felt pointed hat? So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen."

"They say when you shave it grows back thicker. Can't wait to see my new cock."

"""Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?"" is just not as challenging since she started using foursquare."

"What do you call a retired comedian? Comedy mold."

"I love babies cause they just cry upon waking up and it's so honest"

"The label of this bag of roasted peanuts includes a warning that they come from a plant that processes peanuts"

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?"

"My lucky number is 17 so I'm really hoping that 2017 is finally going to be my year. Otherwise, I'll have to change my lucky number again."

"Why were Star Wars Episodes 4, 5, and 6 released before 1, 2, and 3? Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was."

"Drake like his women like... I like my Mustang... 47 years old."