195904
Joke of the Day
"Holiday Tip: if you boil a turd on low heat the whole house smells like farts."
Next Joke
"If I had 10 cookies and someone takes away 5, what would they have? A broken hand"
"How Do You Embarrass An Archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from"
"What's a Latino pornstar's favorite flavor profile? Umami. (Ooooooooh, mami.)"
"In a car it's illegal to not wear a seatbelt. But I guess if you're on a bus they figure death will be a sweet relief."
"Judging by how all of these ladies tweet about cucumbers I'm pretty sure size does matter because I never see them tweeting about carrots :("
"Can we talk about your pleated, cuffed corduroys, or are we just going to let it happen?"
"If a tree falls in the forest... ...and Linkin Park was playing a concert adjacent to that tree, in the end, does it even matter?"
"Two more nuns Two nuns in a bath. First one says ""where's the soap?"" Second nun says ""yeah, it does doesn't it."""
"The key to being smart is not talking about shit you don't know about. You should try it. Like immediately."