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Joke of the Day

"They should invent an alarm clock that if you hit the snooze button more than 3 times it automatically calls in sick for you."

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"So I got a piece of ass this morning... my finger slipped through the paper."
"X/y If Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner were to go missing, would they put his/her picture on a half n half carton?"
"What did soviet russians use for lighting before they started using candles? Electricity."
"When it comes to politics I'm an agnostic. I don't believe there's an honest politician nor can I prove that one does not exist."
"For an Asian porn star, everyday is election day."
"BABY DRINK Q: How do you make a baby drink? A: Stick it in the blender."
"Subway to release a statement next week In light of recent events, kids now get free 6 inches."
"What kind of protozoa likes Halloween? An amoeboo!"
"Overly Polite Twins Why were the overly polite twins almost never born? ""After you."" ""No, after you."""