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Joke of the Day
"So I got a piece of ass this morning... my finger slipped through the paper."
Next Joke
"What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher? One minds the train the other trains the mind."
"Take it from me. Your wife will not like it if you say, ""My twitter girls would do that"""
"I save a lot of money on makeup by just being attractive."
"My boss asked if I accomplished my years resolution Nope, I'm still working here"
"My favorite drinking game is that one where you drink every time you have access to booze."
"What did the spaceman see in his frying pan? An unidentified frying object."
"""Sir can I ask you why you're smoking TWO huge cops?"" Blunt, i'm *turns to camera* Doing this tweet wrong *Blunt just stares in confusion*"
"What did the cheeseburger name her daughter? Patty."
"I hate menstruation jokes They're a bloody pain."