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Joke of the Day

"X/y If Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner were to go missing, would they put his/her picture on a half n half carton?"

"Hey, did you fall from heaven? So did Satan."

"I finally decided I want to be a car mechanic. Guess it just took some motor-vation."

"I just don't know where I stand on masturabation... I mean, on one hand it feels good, but on the other hand it feels bad."

"I should go outside and enjoy the amazing weather but my computer cord isn't long enough."

"Two potatoes are standing on the street corner, which one is the prostitute? The one that says Idaho"

"Well... You know what they say... So I guess I don't need to tell you..."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but you have to get them in there first."

"How do Rabbis make money? They keep the tips."

"My doctor said I need to cut back my sodium intake... ...but I tend to take everything he says with a grain of salt."