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Joke of the Day

"How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing? Get really close to their ear and shout, ""DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG?"""

"What do cows like on their hotdogs? MOOstard."

"Shaved my legs for the 1st time in forever today. It was like taking a bulldozer to the rainforest. Birds flying out, villagers scattering."

"What's your favorite tasteless 9-11 joke? Here's mine. Knock knock. Who's there? 911. 911 who? You said you'd never forget"

"Where do sick boats go? The dock!"

"RIP Boiling water You'll be mist."

"I rarely eat kale chips, but when I do-I eat them condescendingly and self-righteously."

"Every 5 seconds, somewhere on this planet a woman gives birth to a child. I think! We must find this woman and stop her."

"If guns don't kill people, people kill people, Then it must also be true that toasters don't toast toast. Toast toast toast."

"What's the best thing about having sex with 29 year olds? There's 20 of them..."