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Joke of the Day

"If guns don't kill people, people kill people, Then it must also be true that toasters don't toast toast. Toast toast toast."

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"What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck!"
"Fellow Black Friday shopper: I'm so excited! What are you trying to buy? Me: oh I can't afford anything, I'm hoping to be trampled to death"
"What's a buddhists favourite curry? Chicken karma"
"I always have to throw out my animal crackers. They always have that label: ""Do not eat if seal is broken""."
"Why were those customers on Crazy Taxi' so pissed off all the time? SORRY IT TOOK 34 SECONDS TO GET TO PIZZA HUT MA'AM!"
"When someone uses an elipsis at the end of a text message I assume they fell off a cliff."
"I took my item up to the counter. ""I'd like to return this,"" I said, with a tear in my eye, ""It didn't work."" He said, ""I'm sorry. We can't do that with condoms."""
"What did the Irishman text his Wife? ""Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."""
"What's the worst part about going down on a black girl? Cotton mouth"