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Joke of the Day

"Shaved my legs for the 1st time in forever today. It was like taking a bulldozer to the rainforest. Birds flying out, villagers scattering."

"difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A genealogist spends there time looking up old family and a gynecologist spends time looks up old friends!"

"Why can't you eat cereal in the Matrix? Because there is no spoon."

"[During surgery] DR DOG: Suction please. NURSE: But there's no bleeding. DR DOG: I know *drooling* but just look at that liver!"

"Where does Christopher Walken like to smoke cigars? A Walken humidor."

"[bill gates house] Bill: What's on at the cinema? Wife: Let me google it and- *terrified look at bill* Wife: Let me bing it and see."

"Standing in disbelief at an automated door that isn't opening for me is the closest I'll ever feel to having been born rich."

"Where does Trump buy the bricks for the Mexican border? At Wallmart i'll show myself the way out"

"Babies are 60% water, I can walk on babies, therefore I am 60% jesus"

"Chinese Joke Got my blood results today turns out my blood type is A negative. My dad is going to kill me"