121976

Joke of the Day

"Where do sick boats go? The dock!"

"HR has a problem with me giving the vending machine guy a lap dance. In my defense, he was packing Dark Chocolate Twix."

"""Why did Sally fall off the swings?"" ""Because she has no arms."" ""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Not Sally. Because she has no arms. """

"I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today.... Unfortunately, it's only for victims."

"Sex through the ages: Age 20-30: Tri-weekly Age 30-40: Try weekly Age 40-50: Try weakly"

"Gum commercials exaggerate your odds of kissing a complete stranger in public by 780,000,000%"

"SOW: Would you like a nice cake with three candles for your party? PIGLET: I'd rather have three cakes and one candle."

"It's bad enough hearing people judge others based on their appearance... but when ugly people do it, I feel horrible."

"As long as Apple doesn't announce Ben Affleck as the new iPhone I think everything is going to be OK."

"What did the suicide bombing instructor say to his students? ""Pay attention. I'm only going to show this to you once."""