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Joke of the Day

"Every 5 seconds, somewhere on this planet a woman gives birth to a child. I think! We must find this woman and stop her."

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"""It's not a colonoscopy, it's a colonoscpportunity!"" - gastroenterologist who is also a motivational speaker"
"Why did the Vietnamese woman get a career as a prostitute? Because she likes Dongs."
"Egyptian alcoholics are the hardest to talk to..... They are always in denial."
"Autocorrect is horrible... I'm so tired of this shirt"
"Bigfoot, an alien, and a Pilgrim walk into a bar. I need a punch line."
"Why did no one trust the dermatologist? He kept making rash decisions."
"What's the difference between virgin olive oil and extra virgin olive oil? *thick Italian accent* ""She don't even touch it."""
"How many feet are in a yard? Depends on how many people are standing in it."
"Where does Ubisoft have the most trouble in school The Division"