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Joke of the Day

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies."

"You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? Hahahaa WHY!!??"

"Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas station attendant? Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the nozzle and spray gas all over the car."

"My analogies are like vacuums.... They suck."

"You can tell a lot about a woman from her shoes If they're behind her ears, she likes you"

"What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast? Miracle whip."

"What is Jojo's Favorite Pokemon Game? Pokemon ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS ORAS"

"Girl's idea of Valentine's Day. (???(?.? )? Guy's idea of Valentine's Day ( o )( o?(^?^?)"

"Pro tip: Before you tell her that you love her, make sure you're not horny, drunk, lonely, desperate, sad, angry, bored or hungry."

"Me: ""I'm thinking about running a marathon again"" Her: ""Wow, you have ran a marathon before?"" Me: ""No, but I have thought about it."""