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Joke of the Day
"How do Buddhist monks compare interests? With zen diagrams!"
Next Joke
"You're probably wondering how I tweet so much while maintaining a loving marriage and two amazing kids. The key is neglect."
"Me: Hello, is it me you're looking for? Her: no Me: *dials another number* Hello, is it me you're looking for?"
"If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer."
"What do Cerial killers drink? milk"
"I'm certainly no authority, but if you want to avoid the muffin top you probably shouldn't put size 8 jeans on a size 12 girl."
"What do you call a frat house in a quarry? A bromine."
"My toddler tried out and age aproporiate pickup line ""Hey baby, you've got some fiiiiiiine motor skills."""
"Why do the birthers...? Why do the Birthers care about where Barack Obama was born (Hawaii, not Kenya) and not where Ted Cruz was born (Canada, not Texas)? Because Barack Obama is black."
"Say no to shampoo. Demand real poo."